Archive for the 'that's freakin' hilarious' Category
September 7th, 2006
48 Frickin’ Minutes !!!
Today Translink decided once again to test my patience as it does on a regular basis. Today we got out of work a little late (so very busy) and so I got to where I usually get dropped off at 8:18. I thought awesome I’ve still got two minutes I should be OK to still catch the bus. Now keep in mind that the bus has been coming consistently at 8:20 for the last two weeks. Today of course it decided to come early and I got to watch it go by as I was walking to the bus stop. I’m sure the lady walking her dogs though I was nuts as I was calmly walking down the street and proceeded to yell out “Ahhh Crap!!!”, she sort of kept her head down and didn’t really make eye contact as we passed.
I knew at that point I had at least a 15-20 minute wait for the next bus but I wasn’t too upset, I had my copy of 24hrs from earlier in the day to keep myself busy. After 20 minutes of reading I put the 24hrs away figuring the bus would be there any minute and waited as more and more time went by and more and more people showed up. Then there was more waiting, and a little more waiting and at around 35 minutes I was starting to get a little peeved. How difficult is it to get a bus every 20 flippin’ minutes, apparently too tough for them this evening. Around 45 minutes Simon called to see if I was home yet and no I wasn’t, still sitting here with the waiting. Finally a bus showed up, not just one bus but two of the damn things because apparently that makes up for the waiting. I checked my watch just as I was getting on the bus and in case you hadn’t guessed by the title I had sat there for an annoyingly long 48 minutes. That’s just unacceptable people. So note for the future: no more working late, it wreaks havoc on my bus timings.
September 2nd, 2006
August 22nd, 2006
I really shouldn’t post this but I couldn’t resist!
May 31st, 2006
I found a totally awesome site today (see post title), had me laughing my ass off. It consists solely of cartoons created to those wonderful spam sayings we see. Mostly I get them here on my blog, not so much in my email. If you haven’t stumbled across this site yet go and take a look, if you already have then why the heck haven’t I been told, I’ve been missing out here. I always assumed that the mixture of words that spammers use just enables them to search and find the sites that spam gets through on, if that’s true then can you just imagine the amount of spam this site must get! Of course, now that I think about it, that must just help them out.
This one had me laughing the hardest: It’s called Your Dog Will Love It!
April 1st, 2006
More Jokes from Mike
A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son. All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. “What’s wrong?” asked the mother. “I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out,” replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. “Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.” Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago A week later her son walked into the room in tears. “It’s okay”said the Mom, “I know what happened. You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.”"No,” said the boy, “I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.”
Fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
March 31st, 2006
Rick Mercer Spoof
March 30th, 2006
Jokey Joke Time
Here’s a couple of good jokes I got in my email recently.
It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup. “No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?”
A study conducted by UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.